By Jenny Coluccio, Women's Golf Coach
April 24, 2020
As a coach, you always have a hopeful, energetic and cautiously optimistic feeling about each season. At the beginning of the 2019-20 campaign, we truly entered the year without expectations. With three returning seniors and four freshmen on the roster, I wasn't sure what to expect.
For starters, freshman
Caroline Kane underwent unexpected hip surgery and was never able to compete this year. Her new role was as head cheerleader and rehab specialist, an assignment that an eager 18-year-old never wants to receive. But hope of the future keeps her light burning.
The focus of our season was all about process. Our freshmen were learning how to manage life and golf away from home, all the while focusing on technical development. Our seniors were learning to be leaders for the very first time, guiding younger teammates in the same way they had once been mentored in their younger days.
Last September, we took on a huge endeavor of hosting the first-ever women's collegiate golf event at the Inverness Club. Expectations ran high. Being able to play at such a beautiful and historic golf club, our players anticipated the tournament like Christmas morning. They were anxious, excited and overwhelmed. Playing against an elite national field, our players held their heads high and gleamed with pride, for their home course was the true winner that weekend.
As the fall ran on and the leaves changed colors, our development was starting to take shape and new lessons were learned each day. Next came the winter off-season, which typically consists of hard work in the shadows; however, more news was brewing for our future. Our wonderful assistant coach, Grace Park, was offered a chance to become the assistant pro at Sand Point Country Club in Seattle, Wash., an offer even the Godfather wouldn't have refused. We encouraged her and gave her our blessing to listen when opportunity came knocking. Down a coaching staff member wasn't a major cause for concern, though, as I trusted my team and they trusted my plan. We decided to wait until the season was over to fill the position.
The new year arrived with a trip to the sun for some practice, networking and a bit of fun. Our subsequent return to Toledo on January 20 was the last "normal" day we have seen as a program.
On the afternoon of Tuesday, Jan. 21, freshman
Caroline Kane unexpectedly lost her father. It rocked us all to our core. It was one of the hardest bits of news I've ever had to deliver to my players. We were all with her when she learned of his passing, and I've never seen a group fold together like they did. One of our seniors had lost her mother two years ago, and she took Caroline into her arms like a sister. All of us were shocked and confused. Grief counseling and the funeral followed. And now the question was, how do we get back to normal? Not possible ... we've just lost a parent...a pillar. We began to search for how to operate in a new normal.
We pledged to honor Caroline and her father by dedicating the season to him and her family. A few weeks passed with us operating under our new normal when on Thursday, Feb. 27 (two days before our second spring tournament) "normal" changed once again.
On our second day in Florida we had to make a trip to the emergency room. I realize many coaches in their careers have taken players to the emergency room, but this felt different. It was yet another adversity for our team to overcome. Senior
Thunpijja Sukkasem rushed to the ER with the tournament athletic trainer with likely appendicitis. Her teammates worried (a bit of PTSD already showing), but they were able to move forward and tee it up with only four players, one short of the usual lineup for college golf. Thunpijja was released after they determined it wasn't an appendicitis. She managed by her own choice to play with pain through one round.
In the final round, though, with her pain too much to bear, Thunpiija withdrew to focus solely on recovery. While this was happening with Thunpijja, another player,
Saranlak Tumfong, began having bruises appear in her mouth as well as random ones on her body. I consulted with our medical staff. They said it could be a lot of things, but with no other symptoms they thought she should be okay to continue playing but recommended that she undergo tests immediately upon returning to Toledo.
We made it back safely to Toledo Sunday night but on Tuesday, March 2 our normal was changed again and forever more. I returned to the ER with Thunpijja in pain to find the root cause as medical personnel ran more tests. Sara also went to the hospital that morning for a follow-up blood test to "just make sure" that the bruises were benign. So while I was at one ER with Thunpijja, our wonderful athletic trainer
Alex Lovato called with devastating news: the doctors believed Sara had leukemia!
My heart stopped. Wasn't she was just playing golf two days ago?!
Alex called Sara in to give her the news (since I was with Thunpijja, I had to listen on speaker phone). Our trainer immediately took her to another hospital where she was admitted and would not likely leave for another 30-45 days.
There is no protocol for a team meeting at this point. Triage is in full power mode and health comes first. Trying to explain via Group FaceTime and phone calls what
is happening is the last way I ever wanted to handle it, but it was the only option.
On Tuesday night, Thunpijja was released and we have come to know that the cause was a bacterial infection. The pain would continue but eventually subsided with medicine and rest. She was kept on close watch overnight. I spent Wednesday and Thursday night in the hospital with Sara having flashbacks of my own mother getting similar news nearly 20 years ago
. Sara had no parents or family here in the states. However, our team, along with medical and support staff, truly showed how much we are a family. Everyone called and came to help and visit, jumping into action in any way possible.
Thursday was the hardest day. Sara's tears came for the first time since the diagnosis; and once they came, they were unrelenting. No golf, no leaving her room in the hospital for the next 30 to 45 days, no graduation in May
, no parents by her side ... it all sank in. My gut felt hollow.
The team was supposed to be departing Saturday for a much-awaited tournament and spring break trip to Las Vegas. As late as Friday morning we were still unsure if we would travel. Friday night was the start of her chemotherapy and we all wanted to be there for her. But Sara urged us to go to the tournament. Have fun, play hard, send photos and videos, she said. With her blessing, encouragement and strength, we decided to go and play for her.
Of course, at the time we had no clue this would be our last tournament of the season. Playing with only four players again, (Donchanok, Amelia, Claudia and Kathryn) our team showed their strength and resiliency. The message was not about score or strategy. It was about keeping our lives moving forward and remembering those who couldn't be there. We all know those motivational sports sayings we hear
. Play for more than the number. They put your whole heart into it. They rose above it all...etc. However, witnessing our team's strength in real life could not adequately be expressed in mere words.
On Wednesday, March 11, we had a fabulous day. We played an extra day on a beautiful course, soaking up the sun and peacefulness in nature. Again, we did not know it at the time but it was our last round together as a team, our players last happy day breathing fresh air, playing the game they love.
The next day we departed from Las Vegas for Toledo. Our focus was once again on the physical and mental health of all our players. It was on our first connecting flight that the NCAA announced the cancellation of all spring sports and activity. A final gut punch to our team. Our lone physically healthy senior,
Donchanok Toburint, was confused and devastated. Thunpijja was just regaining her health and had been looking forward to the remainder of her senior season. The freshmen were all crushed to think that their seniors all weren't going to be able to finish in the traditional and expected way that we are accustomed to.
In the best of times, the season never ends when we want it to, unless we win the final match, final game or final race. Sometimes we can see the end coming and brace for it. Other times the rug is pulled out from under us when we least expect it. While we have all talked about how hard the recent news of the Coronavirus pandemic has been, I have kept in mind that I was going to have a similar talk with my team eventually. The season does end each year; that's why it is called a season. It is our optimism, energy and hopefulness as coaches, players and competitors that drive us to believe that the end will happen within our control, exactly when we expect it and when we are prepared for it, and, if we are lucky, with a trophy to mark the fruits of our labor.
It's clear to me now that the 2019-20 season was never meant to be defined by wins and losses, rankings or numbers. This season, our trophy was not made of gold or silver or even wood. It stands apart from anything you can hold in your hands. We played and fought for our mental and emotional health, for maintaining our academics, for our family, for lost loved ones, for friendships, for teammates and for our lives. Our season is now marked as the season that will never be forgotten.
Previous Rocket Blogs
Quarantine: A Time to Reflect on My Journey to Rocket Nation (April 11, 2020)
So Is This the Honeymoon Phase? (April 8, 2020)
Why I Buy Season Tickets (April 5, 2020)
A Promising Season Ends in Surreal Fashion (April 1, 2020)
Coming Together as a Team to Help Sara (March 31, 2020)
Isolation Can Make Time Management a Challenge For Students (March 28, 2020)
Many Challenges Are Ahead for Rocket Athletics (March 25, 2020)
Waking Up From a Perfect Dream to Face a New Reality (March 20, 2020)
Saranlak Tumfong Begins Fight Against Cancer (March 19, 2020)
Healthy Ways to Deal with Anxiety During a Health Crisis (March 18, 2020)
A Note From the Athletic Director: Stay Strong Rocket Nation! (March 17, 2020)
How Can We Live Without Sports? For Now, We Must (March 14, 2020)
